Nevertheless
For the last four and a half months, we’ve been laying low. I use “laying low” relatively loosely. We’ve been loving and laughing and learning what it’s like to be a family of three. And let me tell you … it’s perfection. Sheer, utter, complete perfection. I’m not even stretching the truth in the slightest. Not trying to put on to make my life sound better than it actually is. It really has been perfect. I know there’s this giant push in motherhood to show the true reality of raising children, the difficulties and all. And I’m all for that. But I’m also not there yet. So I can use the word perfection and actually mean it.
Bo Joseph is the absolute sweetest. People keep talking about how blessed he is to have parents like us, but what they don’t understand is how blessed we are to have him. He’s happy and healthy. And we couldn’t ask for more. He loves to be talked, read, and sang to, which works out perfectly since I do all of those 24/7 anyway. He’s always up for anything and never wants to be left out. Take him along for the ride! Literally we lived my maternity leave at the Target and Books a Million. It was glorious.
But today was special. Today was finalization. Which seems like such an unfitting word, since we’re only getting started. But what is does mean is another reason to celebrate and praise. Which we’ve been doing a lot lately. Bo tends to have that effect on people.
He’s also a beautiful reminder that life doesn’t always turn out the way you thought it would. Or the way you prayed it would. And that’s not a bad thing. We all have big dreams and plans. And sometimes we have to watch those big dreams and plans fall to pieces. I was there. I was there for a long time. But then I discovered “nevertheless” and life hasn’t been the same since.
“Nevertheless” and its importance were pointed out to me at a Bible study years ago. But the role it would play in my life would take a while to develop. In Luke 22:42, Jesus goes before His Father in prayer asking for one thing. “Let this cup pass from me.” Though Jesus prays for one specific thing, He does so with a humble attitude full of faith in God’s magnitude and plan. Jesus prays in such a way that His true desire is revealed – He really wants what is best according to God’s plan. This is a difficult thing to pray. A challenging attitude to embody. Jesus follows His request with “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” How often I selfishly pray without thinking what’s best for God’s plan! I come before God with carefully laid out plans and specific requests like I have the best answer for every problem. What’s best for God’s plan? That’s “Nevertheless.” Not what does Mary Beth think is best for her! “Nevertheless” means praying for your heart’s desires while still ultimately wanting to do God’s will. Not trying to make your will God’s. Take your hopes and dreams to God but always with the humble attitude of “Thy will be done.” I haven’t always lived my life this way. I think that’s why I had such a hard time pulling myself together after my life plans came crashing down. I had a one-track plan for how my life should be. And on that track, I left no room for God to work.
You’re plans for life will change. And that’s okay. That’s “nevertheless.”
Where you are in life right now is probably different than bright-eyed 18 year old you thought you would be. And again, that’s okay. Nevertheless doesn’t mean we settled or got any less. Nevertheless doesn’t mean second best. It means “all the same”. It means “nonetheless”. It means maybe you got exactly what you prayed for but in a spectacular way you never expected. Maybe it means you got more than you prayed for. When we set aside our selfish desires, even when they’re honorable desires, and pray from a place of dependence we gain all the “more” God has to offer.
Page and I prayed for years that I would get pregnant, but… nevertheless happened instead. And nevertheless brought us Bo. So if you’ve been wondering what we’re up to, we’re just over here, the three of us, living in our own “nevertheless”.
Originally posted April 2018